Open your eyes (Part 2)

It was there it started. Right in the middle of the basketball court. Everyone in her class looked at her.

Anette leaned back in her chair and moved her gaze from the window to the blackboard. Anette had already handed in her test before the others, just like she always did. She actually liked school. Always alert and eager to learn.

Her seat was at the front of the classroom, to the left of the teacher’s desk. Next to Anette sat a boy named Kristian. He and his “gang” often joked around with Anette. She would often play basketball and football with them. None of the other girls wanted to join them. They often said that the boys were too rough and reckless. 

Anette stopped her musings when her teacher suddenly spoke up.

“You have five minutes left on the test, use the time wisely”

Viola coughed, and pushed the glasses up from the tip of her nose.

More and more whispers rose in the back of the classroom. Anette flinched every time she heard someone giggling. She thought they were laughing at her.

Viola rose from her chair and started collecting everyone’s papers. Her thin body moved around in the room. She always wore bright colored clothes and had her brown hair in a ponytail.

When she was done, everyone got up from their seats and went for lunch. Anette pushed Kristian out of his seat.

“Hey, what are you doing?” he said in annoyance.

“I’m hungry and you were in my way” Anette said giggling.

Kristian flashed a big smile at her, and later the both of them caught up with the rest of the guys. As always when she was with the boys, she was the center of attention. They would not judge her like the girls, and besides, they were a lot more fun.

After the lunch, there were still some time left before the next lesson would start. Anders and Stefan went to get a football and soon they all started playing.

Anette was very familiar with how the guys usually played. Stefan and Erik would outshine the others and only pass the ball between themselves. Mattias and Peter would start to chase them and cheat by kicking their shins. After a while, they would become angry and start to push each other, and resulting in them ending up on the muddy field with their backs on the ground.

“So, do you want to play?”

Erik interrupted Anette’s thoughts. Anette looked down on her clothes and decided that she did not want to ruin her mother’s cardigan. Even though she was a girl, the boys could sometimes forget about it.

“No thank you, I am just going to take it easy today.”

Erik nodded and ran to join the others while Anette sat down on a bench next to the school building. She closed her eyes for a moment and leaned her head against her hands.

A feeling of being watched crept up her spine and made the hair on her neck stand up.

Anette opened her eyes and saw a pink belt. Her gaze travelled up and when her eyes met the owner of the belt, her whole body froze.

“Move your giant ass, this is our bench!”

Anette’s mouth became dry and she started to shake all over. Annika’s piercing eyes went through Anette’s soul. Suppressed memories welled up in front of Anette’s eyes.

The first week of high school was over and Anette came back to school after the weekend. When she first entered, the girls eyed her up and down, whispered and pointed at her clothes. During recess, the girls ignored her, pretended that she was not there. This hurt Anette deeply, but not as much as the phone calls to her home, saying how useless she was. Not as much as when they pushed her.

Anette felt how tears started to form in her eyes.

“Grab her!” Annika yelled.

Susanne and Pernilla stepped forward and grabbed Anette’s arms. They threw her forward and she hit the ground hard. Pebbles dug into her palms while Anette grit her teeth.

“Get lost, we do not want your ugly face here!”

Anette clenched her fists and started to hyperventilate. She rose from the ground and started to run, while tears streamed down her face.

People watched her as she passed the yard, and ended up in the bathroom. There she screamed and kicked the white walls surrounding her. Anette slumped down on the toilet seat and tried to calm down her heartbeats, and it took a while for her to succeed.

When she could breathe normally again, she got up and started to clean her face and hands. The wounds were quite small, and few pebbles had managed to pierce the skin. Anette quickly removed them and checked herself in the mirror.

Loser, ugly, fat, no one cares about you…

Anette pressed back the voices in her head. Instead, she put a smile on her face. She knew deep inside that she was something. Anette loved life and would not let the bullies destroy her. With that in mind, she returned to class. Not knowing that soon, her life was going to change forever.

When Anette entered the classroom, everyone’s eyes were glued to her. Anette saw the smirks on Annika’s, Helena’s, Susanne’s, Pernilla’s, and Jenny’s lips. But when her eyes fell on Malin, the girl seemed to feel guilty. Her shoulders were slumped and she was fiddling nervously with her fingers.

“So Anette, why are you late?”

Jan Olov, her history teacher, stepped up to her and gave her a stern look.

“I did not feel well, so I went to the bathroom and forgot the time. I am very sorry and I shall not repeat it again.”

Jan Olov’s facial expression lightened a bit.

“Good, now sit down and pay attention. Thor is the god of thunder…”

He continued with the lesson while Anette sat down on her seat. Kristian glanced at her and smiled slightly. Anette returned his smile and focused on the blackboard, and what the teacher had written there.

“And no one’s gonna save you

From the beast about to strike

You know it’s thriller

Thriller night”

Anette sang loudly to herself on the way home. It always eased her mind when she was upset and needed some comfort.

Anette had always dreamed of becoming a singer, standing in front of hundreds of people, and hear the crowd screaming her name over and over again.   

People called her naïve and said that she should stop believing in such a foolish dream. But Anette would never give up her dream. She felt that she was destined for something grand.

Well at home, Anette kicked off her shoes and went to the kitchen to get some soda. After drinking it, she started to sing again.

“The winner takes it all

The loser standing small

Beside the victory

That’s her destiny”

Her feet took her to her room. There, Anette grabbed one of her pencils and used it as a microphone while she danced in front of the mirror.

“The winner takes it all

The loser has to fall

It’s simple and it’s plain

Why should I complain?”

The song came to an end and Anette felt so proud when she managed to sing the high notes perfectly. Immediately she started on another song.

“I’m nothing special

In fact, I’m a bit of a bore

If I tell a joke

You’ve probably heard it before

But I have a talent

A wonderful thing

‘Cause everyone listens when I start to sing”

That song ended as well and Anette bowed to the imaginary audience.

“Thank you Påarp, you have been great!”

Anette blew some kisses here and there before she put down the pencil.

Someday…

Anette sighed and went to the bathroom to relieve herself.

After washing her hands, Anette felt how a headache started to form. She opened the cupboard, which contained various items. She grabbed the aspirin jar, opened the lid and took one pill out of it. When Anette put the jar back, she suddenly stopped in mid-air. Behind the place where the aspirin stood was another jar, unknown to Anette. It was labeled as sleeping pills and they were prescribed for her mother. Without thinking much about it, she put back the aspirin jar and closed the cupboard door while she swallowed the pill in her hand.

“Anette, honey, can you make the dinner? I have to talk to your grandmother.”

“Yeah, sure, what are we going to eat?” Anette shouted while she went to the kitchen.

“I am thinking pancakes.”

Anette smiled when her eyes met her mother’s gentle blue ones.

“Okay” Anette said while Maivor picked up the phone and dialed the number.

“Tell her that I said hi.”

Maivor nodded while Anette gathered all the stuff she needed to make the pancakes.

They spent the rest of the evening with watching TV and chatting.

Anette was happy that her mother was totally oblivious about the fact that her youngest daughter was being bullied. Her mother should not bear this burden with her.

After wishing each other a good night, Anette had a shower before she crawled under the warm cover on her bed, and drifted off into dreamland without knowing that her life would change forever during the next two days.